GARDENING WITH GRACE

By Shari Tyson

A few mornings ago, I approached the subject of finances with my son. I knew before I started that I wasn’t picking the right moment to have the conversation, but I decided to go ahead and pose a question regarding something I thought he had purchased. It was just a question, but there were certainly implications behind it, and though he answered, I could tell I had put him on the defense.
I had blown it, and I knew it. There weren’t any harsh words spoken. It was a single, simple question, but he sensed the judgmental atmosphere I had set by the way in which I asked the question. I didn’t pursue it any further but waited for a few minutes and then spoke to him with words that were “good for necessary edification, that (they) may impart grace to the hearer” (Ephesians 4:29). The conversation was productive, and I was able to salvage the moment and encourage my son.
As my son kissed me goodbye, Holy Spirit gently whispered into my heart, “Your heart hurt because I have only asked you to plant and water; not pull weeds.” I immediately thought about something our pastor had said several months ago in one of his messages. It was basically this: if you focus upon making the grass healthy, you will crowd out the weeds. I actually googled controlling weeds and found this very statement, “Just keep your conditions right for grass, keep the blades on your mower set higher so the grass can be the dominate plant type, and you’ll watch weeds slowly get outnumbered.”
“Keep the blades on your mower set higher.” See with grace, speak with grace, and the “weeds” will be outnumbered.
I picked up my Bible and turned to the fourth chapter in Ephesians. Holy Spirit used verses 29 and 30 to re-emphasize the importance of letting “no corrupt word proceed out of (my) mouth,” no matter how subtle that word might be. Of course, there will be times I have to bring correction, but that can always be done with words that edify and impart grace…ALWAYS. Verse 30 explains why I must do that: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.”
If, in fact, my son had made an irresponsible decision with his money, that is not what was going to grieve Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is very confident in His ability to conform my son into the image of Christ. The words that I had first chosen to address the situation were what grieved Him because they were judgment disguised, and they shut the door of my son’s heart when they should have been words of grace which would have opened that door. “(Parents), do not provoke your children to wrath” (Eph. 6:4).
The woman caught in adultery would have not had the ability to “go and sin no more” if she hadn’t first heard the words, “Neither do I condemn you” (John 8:11). If my children or grandchildren hear even the slightest condemnation in my words, I have put them at great risk of further rebellion. They must always hear words that impart grace because only grace plants and waters in a way that crowds out all weeds.
Thankfully, it’s never too late to develop a “green thumb!”
Shari Tyson leads the nursery ministry at Abundant Life Covenant Church.